My Baby Saved my Life

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I’m getting a little, well, actually very personal with today’s post I’m  sharing part of my pregnancy “story.” This is the part of how I found out I would be, under going major surgery at 14 weeks to remove an Ovarian cyst. So I guess, I should start from the beginning of my pregnancy, I found out I was pregnant very very early on, roughly around 3 weeks (at that time I thought I was closer to the 8 week mark). So when I called to make my first appointment, my OB had me schedule my first trimester scan prior to my first official visit with her. My now fiance and I were so excited for our first visit, we couldn’t wait to see our little one for the first time (and in a weird way get validation that we were REALLY pregnant).

The day of the ultrasound, I was given instructions to basically drink my weight in water and reframe from using the restroom (cruelest test ever! if there was ever a time I thought I was going to pee myself as an adult, this was it). I was laying in the ultra sound room, with a full bladder and full of excitement, the tech started to scan my belly and instantly her expression changed. I knew there was something wrong right away, I waited a few seconds before I asked “is everything ok”? She very calmly asked, if I had a history of cysts, I didn’t. She continued to scan over the same area and take several pictures, she let us know the Dr would be with us shortly.

She said I could use the restroom (finally!), while she called the Dr. in. By this time all I could do was pray, that our baby was ok, all of the excitement of seeing baby for the first time had vanish. I turned to look at my fiance and I could see the worry deep down, although he tried his hardest to hide it.  Finally the DR. walked in and performed a second ultra sound, he confirmed that I had a tumor roughly around 5cm growing with-in my right ovary. He explained that, it did not look cancerous (phew) but there was a small chance my OB would recommend surgery while I was still pregnant. Or best case I could carry out my pregnancy and remove it post delivery. I was so devastated, I remained silent throughout the rest of the appointment, it wasn’t until we got back to the car that I finally could say my thoughts out loud. My fiance reassured me that everything was going to be ok, and we would get through it together. The days leading up to my next appointment were just pure torture, while I didn’t want dwell on the previous appointment, it was nearly impossible not too.  

20170622153045_IMG_3206-0120170622153349_IMG_3215-01 Finally the day came, and we met with our OB (my forever hero). Unfortunately she didn’t have the results we were hoping for, the mass was too large and she strongly suggested surgery at 14 weeks. I was shocked, I couldn’t believe I had this thing, this tumor growing inside of me and unknowingly. I never experienced ANY type of pain, there were no noticeable signs how was I unaware, how? This is why I titled this post “My Pregnancy Saved my Life”  if It wasn’t for that ultra sound, I would have found out too late. During this visit we discussed both options and neither was ideal. Choosing to not have the surgery, meant my chances of a miscarriage would be tripled, waiting t oo long could result in the tumor erupting and cause serious internal bleeding. Not to mention general complications through-out the entire pregnancy. Option two, came with risks as well, removing the cyst could overwhelm baby and cause a miscarriage. If the surgery was successful, I could have a healthy pregnancy which seemed like the only gleam of light. We put our complete trust in our Dr. and decided to go through with the surgery, we knew all three of us were, in the best possible hands.

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After leaving our appointment, we left feeling devastated 14 weeks was right around the corner and up until now we had not shared the news with anyone. So we were faced with sharing the very exciting news with our loved ones only to hit them with horrible news seconds later. Prior to the surgery I felt as if I couldn’t allow my self to get too attached, or even feel excited, there was a constant “what if”. Naturally I already felt a strong connection to our baby, I constantly talked to him and asked him to stay strong I let him know we loved him everyday.

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Finally I entered 14 weeks and it was the day of my surgery, my fiance and I made our way into the prep room and we waited. Our Dr. came into the room and did one last ultra sound before the surgery. I didn’t want to admit this but I was staring at the monitor thinking, this could possibly be the last time we see our baby. It was the worst feeling imaginable, even typing it now gets me teary eyed. She explained that there would be a total of 6 people in the room with her, an assistant surgeon ( who actually delivered my sisters baby, so we felt very lucky to have her as well) the anesthesiologist and 3 nurses. The goal was to get in and out as quickly as possible, the whole thing would hopefully only last roughly around 2 hours. I took a deep breath and gathered as much courage as a possibly could, as I said good-bye to my fiance.

The surgery room was cold, and extremely bright full of people all awaiting my arrival everyone looked so calm, yet the room felt so eerie. It was time to perform the epidural (We wanted to avoid having to put me fully under) the nurse had me crutch over while pushing my out my spine first attempt no luck, second, no luck, third no luck. By this time I was crying in agonizing pain, my Dr. held my hand and said I would need to be placed fully asleep. I nodded my head while trying my hardest to hold back the river of tears running down my face. That was the last thing I remember before waking up in the recovery room.

I felt like I had closed my eyes for just a second, unknowing that it was 4 hours later. The tumor was so big, and so high up that she had no choice but to make a vertical incision. Once it was removed it measured 15cm not 5. I remember looking around the strange room searching for my fiance, I wanted to see a familiar face to feel some kind of comfort. I tried to call for the nurse, but I couldn’t get any words out, not a single one. The nurse must have seen me struggling because she rushed over and held my hand told me I was ok and that I would be moved into my room with-in the hour. Second longest hour of my life, I finally was brought into my room, my parents and fiance sat nervously waiting for me. I finally felt brave enough to ask how the surgery had gone, I wanted to know if baby was ok. My fiance full of joy said the surgery went wonderfully, baby was one strong little fighter he held on. His heart beat was strong throughout the entire 4 hours, I cried so hard it was the best news I could have gotten. Shortly after my Dr’s assistant walked in to check in on me, she explained that I had one talented Dr. who fought hard to save both of my ovaries.

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The following morning my Dr. came in to see me, she explained that the cyst was much larger than expected. She could only assume I had been living with this thing for at least 3 years, it had began to grow second. Had we waited one more month, this thing would have erupted, without a question I knew then that my baby had saved my life. To this day I’m still so shocked that I under went surgery while carrying another life inside of me. I’ll forever be grateful, to her and her teamed because of them baby and walked away healthy she saved my baby. The weeks following my surgery were difficult, I experienced a lot of pain doing basic tasks felt nearly impossible. But that didn’t matter to me all I knew was that baby was healthy.

I wanted to share my story with all of you for one reason, prior to my surgery I searched high and low for women who had undergone the same surgery and it was nearly impossible. The stories I did find helped me tremendous, so I in return want to help the next mom who maybe feeling that same fear I felt. Trust in your Dr, you will make it through this difficult time, and try to enjoy your pregnancy.

I hope I answered and covered everything, I’d be happy to answer any questions. Thank you for allowing me to share my story.

 

 

OOTD: Embroidered Midi Dress

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I’m so excited to share this look with you all today! In particular, I’m excited to share the star of the OOTD this embroidered midi-dress, it’s one of my absolute favorite go-to dresses. I can seriously live in it, as it works for so many occasions; I can pair it with strappy heels for a dressier event, or throw on some gladiator sandals for the perfect causal brunch look. Not to mention it’s an exact dupe for one of my favorite, Free people dresses (I might even like the quality of this one a little more) and at only $36.99 vs $168.00 I really couldn’t say no.

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One of my my favorite colors to pair with black during the summer is camel. I love the contrast and warmth it brings to a black outfit, and the warm tone makes black summer appropriate. So I knew that my Steve Madden espadrilles, would be the perfect shoe for this look. Not only did they match perfectly with my, Jessica Simpson purse, but the wedge gave me some much needed height, to successfully pull off a midi dress. The finishing touch was to throw on my new hat obsession, this straw hat I indefinitely borrowed from my mom ( I mean does anything say summer like a straw hat)?

2017-06-15 06.54.37 3For jewelry I kept it super simple and minimal, layering my favorite Old Navy dangle necklace and a simple dainty gold chain, mom gifted me from her recent trip to Mexico. For earrings I kept with the dangle theme, throwing on these disc style gold earrings, that catch the light perfectly. On my hands, I went with my two favorite Madewell bracelets, my engagement ring (of course) and a bar Madewell ring as well. I wanted to keep everything simple, to not take away from the beautiful white embroidered flowers.

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This look, is something I will have on repeat so expect to see it in future posts hopefully you guys don’t get tired of it.

As always thank you for stopping by.

Share your favorite fashion, or beauty dupes in the comments below, I’d love to check them out.

Plan with me

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I can’t believe that May is gone, and we are already half ways through 2017. I have to say May, flew by and for the most part it was a hectic and stressful month, so I’m glad to see it go (sorry May). Needless to say I’m excited for a fresh month, and wanted to start it off on a… more organized foot . A few nights ago it hit me, my days have very little structure which makes them feel hectic and overwhelming I tend to do things as they come. So I decided to revisit keeping a planner because when I did have a traditional 8-5 a planner was a lifesaver, it kept me on task and even allowed for down time ( dare I dream of a spear hour or two). So last night I set aside 30 mins to plan out good portion of my month and I have to say I already feel so much more in control of my day.

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To start off I have a Large Kate Spade planner, It’s broken down into two types of layouts, a traditional full month view with a side bar for notes and a daily lined section (one week over two pages).

I like to go to town, and decorate each month with stickers, washi tape and cute paper clips. Typically I stick to a color scheme, to make it visually appealing, decorating also gets me me motivated to plan my month out.

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Before mapping my tasks out, I like to decorate (I’m a dessert first type of gal) first. I stick to 2-3 colors or patterns, I use stickers and quotes that keep my planner feeling positive and motivational.  This month I’m reminding myself that “I have everything under control”. 

I start with filling in important tasks like, bills, appointments things that must happen on specific dates. I then layer on events such as family visits, parties, and any traveling we might be doing for the month. Finally I add my goals for the month, which given my current stress level, this past month they center around alone time. I’m heading back to the gym and allowing an 30min-1hr of pampering time each day.

Laying everything out not only gets me mentally prepared for really busy days, but also keeps me on a daily time schedule.

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Once I have everything mapped out on the monthly portion, I transfer things over to the daily section which acts as a daily to-do list. This section also gets small tasks like cleaning, laundry which are my flexible tasks. I also go into detail for Instagram or blog posts, along with a time I strive to upload by. I check everything as I go and any tasks I don’t get to, I transfer over to the next day.

I prioritize time consuming and important tasks at the beginning of the week, leaving my weekends clear to go out and do something fun with my family. I write everything in no matter how big or small, I’m a strong believer that things are more likely to get done if your write them down.

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I’m excited and hopeful for June, I think at the very least having a place to get tasks off my head will elevate some of the stress.

Thanks for stopping by, be sure to share any planner tips with me. Or really any ways you like to destress, what works for you?

xox

Nayeli

Small space, big style

I’m REALLY excited to finally be sharing our bedroom/ nursery tour, it’s my favorite space in our home. It meets all of our needs while still feeling stylish and to be honest, I’m pretty impressed of what we accomplish with only 180 sq ft. We had three goals, while designing this space; 1) we needed to create designated area for baby (that could act as the nursery portion). 2) we needed to fit a crib, rocker, queen size bed, and a dresser. 3) It needed to still feel grown up, yet playful all at the same time. Oh and lets not forget, 3 of us (baby, my fiance and I) share this room! PHEW!

 

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The first task was choosing a color palette, and while I could have lived perfectly content with a very neutral, soft color palette ( all white and blush for me please!) I had to add a touch of masculinity. So the bones to our palette are a rich navy and crisp white with pops of orange and green throughout the space to create a playful vibe. As for a “theme” we really don’t have one, our taste tends to be a little bit all over the place. (but it all somehow works together). I guess you can say we tend to lean towards bohemian design eclectic if you will.

 

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The star of the show is our bed, (my favorite) it’s the first thing that catches your eye when you enter the room. The headboard (DIY) a navy suede, paired with exaggerated tufting add an element of richness and sophistication to the room. The neutral linens add juxtaposition, with a tonal south-western inspired print, layered along side a multitude of tassels on the throw blanket and pillow. Keeping everything tonal allowed me to add several texture and patterned layers, with out feel overwhelming.

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The next step in our process, was space planing we had several new pieces we wanted bring in, to make life with a new baby a little more “comfortable”. We added a rocker that I’m absolutely in love with, and a C style side table. Opting for a not so traditional rocker,  kept the room from feeling to nurseryish yet still served its intended fuction. Especially during the first sleepless nights, it was a life saver having a comfortable place to sit with baby until he fell asleep.

The dresser was something we already had, it’s a chest style 6 drawer dresser which baby and I share ( well more like he has four drawers and I have two #mommylife). The scale and the color are perfect for the space bringing in  warmth from the  wood, while the hardware ties in our love for modern.

Our C table came as a later addition, at first we wanted to go with out a night stand but we quickly realized we needed something. It was a lucky find from Ross and only costed $29.00, the shape is perfect as this area is snug it fits perfectly over the arm off the rocker.

Tucked behind the table is a gold leaning floor mirror, from Ikea (no longer available) that I’ve had since my very first apartment (so obviously it’s not going anywhere!). It brings in a lot of light, and makes the room feel much larger that it actually is plus baby loves to look at himself in it. The gold frame, is everything it has an almost vintage quality to it.

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For babies area, we kept it playful yet not overly themed the focal point is a gallery wall filled with little critters (mostly painted by me) and geometric mountain scapes. Items like a vintage inspired wall sconce, large navy pot, and geometric pillow give it a grown up feel. A simple light-grey crib frame, is not invasive or over powering, marrying nicely with the rest of the room. We utilized every inch of the room and store clear totes underneath his crib for  fold-able clothes. I whipped up a simple caddy to house all of babies necessities (e.g whips, diapers, lotion etc. ) this freed up a ton of counter space, and minimized the clutter in the room (plus it keeps us organized).

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While we do have a busy walls, it all works since we try to keep it in the same color family. Over the bed we have a DIY woven wall hanging and two vintage hats anchoring it.Minimal yet full of texture for plenty of visual interest.

This round wire shelf, is styled in our color palette with special objects for baby like gifts brought back from trips to Mexico, and a baseball from his first game. I’ve added in faux succulents to add a touch of greenery,  and liven things up. Anchoring the shelf, we have some of our favorite pictures of Levi in these modern gold floating frames, that hang by a simple leather strap.

On the dresser more plants (#urban jungle) and a few thrift-ed treasures like this 1970’s oil lamp for added interest. I also love picture frames (this was my mother’s day gift) they make a space feel cozy, and are an easy way to introduce color.

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The biggest key to making a small space work, and not feel overly crowed is to keep it clean and organized. We store things like books, toys, shoes and sleepwear, in totes making them “appear” neat and organized. I also try my best to pick up daily, although that’s not always the case… we declutter and donate often, as soon as we stop using something, it gets taken out of the room and pass on. 

Hope you all enjoyed this post as much as I did, I truly believe that no make the size of a space it can be functional and stylish.

For more decor inspiration follow me on I.G @lifeinmauve

Thanks for stopping by.

xoxo Nayeli

Mother’s Day Gift Idea DIY Engraved Bracelets

The challenge of finding Mom the perfect gift, that says “Mom you’re the best, and you mean the world to me” can be well, a challenge. I struggle every year to find a meaningful gift for the most important woman in my life, BUT what do you DIY for Mom as an ADULT? This year I decided give hand engraving a go, and let’s just say the result is beautiful, these bracelets are so lovely and dainty paired with your very own hand writing it’s the perfect personalized gift. I love these!

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For this DIY you will need:

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Step One:

For a wrap style bracelet, measure and cut 3, 42″ strands of floss then fold in half. You will be left with 6, 21″ strands. Repeat, you should have two set of 6, 21″ strands.

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Step two:

Once folded in half take a pencil and place it right at the center of your floss make a small tight knot, you should be left with a small loop around the pencil (repeat).

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Step four:

Take a small piece of your stamping tape and place it right over the loop (this stuff is very strong it keeps everything in place, it’s amazing!). Then separate the strands into 3 groups like this.  (repeat)

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Step five:

Start creating a simple three strand braid, down the entire length, make a small knot at the end set a side for now. (repeat)

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Step six:

Take a pencil and write out a sample of what you would like to engrave. I recommend practicing on a separate bar or disc,  it’s not very hard to use but it does take some getting used to (make sure you have fresh batteries). Then simply Trace over the pencil, I did a set of two, one with my Mom’s zodiac sign the second with her name.

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Step 7:

Lastly take your jump ring and run it through the loop as well as through the bar, using pliers close jump ring, then take your toggle and attach it to the end. Repeat to the other side your are all done!

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Here is the finish product, as you can see I made a second style using a charm bracelet and stamping discs. These are perfect, I love how minimal and chic they are.

Don’t forget to follow me on I.G for daily inspo pics @lifeinmauve for your daily dose of lovely.

Thanks for reading and Happy Mother’s Day!

 

Weekend Diary 1

20170430172724_IMG_1234-01Like most people I look forward to the weekend all week long, I look can’t wait to putting together a cute outfit, cheek out a new cafe or just spending the day outdoors. my family came to visit and celebrate El Dia Del Nino (kids day) so we decided to pack up picnic and take advantage of the beautiful sunny day.

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I have to say I feel really #blessed to have so many beautiful beaches, parks, and hiking trails near me (all perfect for a great Instashot ). We decided to head to one for our favorite spots, Lovers Point a cute little picnic area in Pacific Grove. We love that it has easy access to the beach but also has plenty of grassy areas to lay down a picnic blanket and enjoy the beautiful view.  On sunny days, it’s absolutely mind blowing!

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We spent a majority of our afternoon playing with the kids on the grass and running around. My nephew and son really enjoyed the sunny weather, we played freebie and enjoyed a delicious lunch with the sound of crashing waves behind us making the day even better.

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I knew we would be running around a lot so I needed a very comfortable and flexible outfit.  I opted for my new favorite off the shoulder striped top, paired with rolled up straight leg jeans and my lace-up  nude sandals from Payless Shoes ( check out my Spring shoe essentials)  it made for a light and airy spring outfit. On days that I need to be hands free my go to bag is my Kate Spade backpack it’s classic, and offers enough space that I can pack all of babies needs. Of course these days I try to capture every moment so I never leave the house with-out my camera.

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After lunch we went down to Cannery Row, and did a little more walking around and popped into Ghirardelli for a cheeky late afternoon treat. I totally recommend the Presidio Passion Strawberry Sundae, it’s amazing!

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It was a fantastic weekend, I’m already counting down the days until the next! I’d love to hear how you all spent your weekend, share it down below.

Let’s Talk Bras

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Gilligan & O’ Malley for Target

I feel like I have spent a majority of my adult life in the search of the perfect bra. Over the years I have tried several brands, styles, and have gone back and forth between padded and unlined. My search for a great fitting bra that also makes me feel sexy and confidant, has become even more of a challenge since becoming a new mom (a breast-feeding mom at that). It seem like nursing bras are all made to look like weird training bras. and give you uniboob (come on bra companies us moms  want cute and dainty bras too). Well, I have really exciting news! So exciting that I’m snapping pictures of my unmentionables, and sharing them all over social media… I found two really great bras, and I just have to share this discovery. Although it’s not an actual nursing bra, nursing is very do-able even better they can be found at Target ( can they do nothing wrong?) and it’s only $16.99! I have two styles that I’m obsessed with, like committed relationship obsessed.

To start I’m a 36D and have a lot of needs, I look for lift, support, flexibility (As a mom I’m constantly moving and can’t have anything jumping ship, you know what I mean) I also need it to be comfortable, durable and let’s not forget it needs to be cute. I know, it’s a lot of requirements but well-fitting under garments are VERY important, there nothing worse than having to constantly readjust. Style wise I go back and forth between wires and no wire, however I try to avoid padded bras I prefer a unlined bra (opposed to 20-year-old me, who loved an overly padded bra).

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Gilligan & O’Malley Unlined Lace Bra
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Buff Beigie, $16.99

I have two styles to share both from Gilligan & O’ Malley range from Target, but this one is by far my favorite I own a few different colors, and here is why I love it sooo much. It’s a fully unlined, wire lace bra (that’s a mouth full)  that has a slight stretch. Making it very comfortable to wear through-out the entire day or even sleep in. It comes in a wide range of sizes, even for us gals with larger breasts (size range 32B-40DD), the cups cut across at a slight angle giving the breast a very flattering shape. The built-in wire stops at the perfect point, high enough that it holds everything in from the sides, but low enough that you don’t have an annoying wire digging in at your side. Although this is not an actual nursing bra, I find the stretch and shape make nursing very do-able.

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Gilligan &’ Malley Unlined Lace Bra

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Ebony $16.99

The second color I own is this black number, which is just plain feminine and sexy no other way to put it. It’s completely outlined in lovely scalloped lace trim, which gives it a uber feminine feel. It works well under slightly sheer t-shirts, or t-shirts that have a deeper v ( lets face it showing your bra, is totally a fashion trend) the lace slightly peeking out looks really chic. A wider band hugs and smooths everything out making it undetectable under thinner fabrics. I can’t say enough good things about this one, I recently introduced my sister to it and she is just as obsessed as I am.

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Gilligan & O’Malley Floral Lace Bralette
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Crystal Pink $16.99

The next style is a true bralette that can be worn racer back or not, it comes in sizes XS-XL and is offered in 4 soft neutral shades. There is a delicate 1″ band of lace that  wraps around the entire bottom and curves in at the center front cinching me in. I don’t get as much support as a traditional bra but it still does a good job holding everything in place. The majority of  bralettes that I have tried are geared towards women with smaller breast, so I appreciate a brand that offers larger sizes that are  true to size and that are cute!

Share down below any of your favorite brands and styles ALSO Target has a 20% off sale until 04/29/2017! Talk to you all soon.

Not a perfect mom.

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Levi James

This post is not intended to be a how-to be a mom because I am still figuring it out as I go. But rather me sharing my experience as a first time mom, the emotions, and challenges I’ve faced along the way. I absolutely love motherhood. My son Levi James is about to turn 6 months and he is my world I’m in constant awe of his curiosity, determination, and his  loving nature. He is growing so fast I want him to slow down just a few days ago he started to sit on his own and has now moved on to learning to crawl. Our days are filled with so much love and laughter, my boyfriend and I are extremely thankful to be his parents. While being a mom is the best, it’s also oh so hard and requires a lot of patience.IMG_0428-01

 

I feel like the first few months I spent them secretly feeling overwhelmed and in a constant panic. I had made up what I thought a good mom should look and act like and I had to become just that. She  knew everything and had all the answers instantly never made mistakes and did everything with a smile. I began to obsess over feeding him every 2 hours on the dot not a minute later.To reach this state of perfection I downloaded a feeding app that would alert me when baby “was hungry”. I became obsessed and instead of aiding me, the alert would send me into a panic. Diaper changes also became my enemy, they needed to be changed as soon as he was wet. While I did have some logic during this time I couldn’t help my feed into my craziness there was so much to learn and know and I wasn’t perfect. These feeling were only heightened when DR. visits rolled around, they felt more like test and the only way to ace them was to remember every detail of his day. I had to be ready to answer and also be prepared with a list of questions to ask in return, even when we didn’t have any. Good moms always asked the right questions. 

I never  wanted to admit that I was  overwhelmed, whenever anyone ask how I was doing a quickly answered “great”. I felt like the moment I gave birth, it was an open invitation to the most invasive questionnaire ever. I knew people meant no harm by asking for updates, but I was just too tired and I felt I needed to hand over a book report. How we were dealing, sleeping, how Levi was eating, was I nursing, was it hard and to make matters worse these question were always followed with advise. Even people I was pretty sure had never been around a baby gave advise. I hated it all.

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Cousin Harry being silly in the background

Well… It wasn’t long before I broke down, and I finally told my boyfriend that I felt like I was a bad mother. He looked at me confused, he didn’t see what I saw. He gave me a hug gave me time to cry and then asked why? I told him all my “fails” from the feedings to feeling like I didn’t pay enough attention to Levi. He knew my love for Levi made me worry and obsess over silly details. He saw the happiest little baby that looked at his mom so lovingly there was no way  I could be a “bad mother”. It was then or maybe the days that followed that I realized how hard I was being on myself and how little credit I gave my ability to mother. My baby had a smile on his face everyday and he was healthy and was doing just fine even with feedings at three hours not two. I realized that I wanted my son to grow up knowing that perfection is not realistic and the only way to learn is to make a few mistakes along the way. I know realize that it takes time get to know your babies needs, I follow my intuition and trust that I am the best mother I can be.